| Sinnead O'Connor "nothing compares 2 u" |
[Jul. 9th, 2007|12:20 am] |
Today, after I had already spent days packing his belongings into boxes so that I could reclaim my own condo for myself, Keith had a friend come over before he left to help him remove it all. So it's finally done and complete. I don't have anything belonging to Keith anymore except for a necklace that he gave me to remember him by whenever he's not around. It's the final and irrevocable closure that truly signals to me that things are over. He said to me last night that he considers leaving me a huge mistake... because he wasn't so much leaving me as leaving the boring country town we lived in... because he wasn't leaving me so much as trying to run from the passage of time and pretend he's 18 again... because he's stuck back in the same damn rut he was in years ago when we met, living with family at the age of almost 30 and barely able to care for himself... because maybe he finally realises these things.
Sure its sad to see him go and to know that he no longer has any material reason to ever see me again. But I really fell out of love with him a while ago and was simply clinging to my deluded grandiose dreams of some fantasy life we were leading in my head. I can look back objectively now and say that he never truly loved me.. he merely loved the idea that someone loved him so deeply. Considering that he cheated on me within mere months of our relationship, it's clear that he never loved me like I did him and never was willing to put forth the kind of effort it takes to sustain any relationship.
We had sex this morning and he came literally within 2 minutes because he was that horny... he may like to try to deny that he has such feelings... he may want to maintain an air for his family and supposed friends that he's happier pretending he's straight... but the thought that I'd still be willing to fuck him would have probably been enough to get him off.
He admitted to me that his family has been encouraging (brainwashing) him to try to pretend to be straight for their own benefit, regardless of how he feels. But he's still so deluded that he considers that a good thing. Personally, I have enough self-respect to tell people to go fuck themselves if they don't like who I am. But he was never and most likely will never possess that kind of inner strength.
He also admitted to me that he had met a bar skank and had been having sex with her, but anyone could tell that it was all simply going through the motions... he obviously didn't care much for her if he was so willing to have sex with me. And again, it totally came off as a gay man trying to pretend he's straight... and failing miserably.
But I did tell him what I wrote last night... that the best thing for me emotionally was for us not to ever date again. And he seemed very disappointed to finally realize that he's fucked things up too badly to ever return to what we had. We were at a bar doing karaoke and some dyke sang Sinnead O-Connor's 'nothing compares 2 u' and he told me he had been listening to it recently because it reminded him of me. I said 'but that song is about someone making a horrible mistake and forever regretting it' and he agreed and again, as dozens of times before, went on to state that he doesn't know what he wants or what it would take to make him feel happy. The truth always is and was that he's unhappy with himself and found it easier to blame me than himself. He's not handling aging very well at all.
I'm proud that I didn't fall apart like I have done so many times in the past and just about beg him to give me another chance. I even told him that he made his bed and now he has to lie in it. I have been seeing other people. A woman that I knew before while Keith and I were still dating, a girl I met through a mutual friend, and a few anonymous online male hookups.
But I'm slowly finding my way back to the happiness I felt before I met Keith... the pride of knowing that I can support myself... the knowledge that I am the most important and interesting person I'll ever meet... the sense of accomplishment that I have in what little I've accomplished during my life... I own my own home, have a hot car, have maintained myself to still be sexy, thin and attractive at 36... have a good job... will very soon not have to work anymore or have to worry about money and be able to start businesses of my own... travel the world...
I know he still loves me but has decided to allow others to make up his mind for him about what will make him happy. There's nothing I can do about that. He lacks the inner strength that I possess to be able to tell people who are talking out their ass to go fuck themselves.
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My father continues to deteriorate and die in the hospital and I wish he would just give up and let it go. If he were a religious person, he'd accept death and welcome the opportunity to once again see his own mother and father and wife and dead brothers and sisters and friends in heaven again. But he knows like I do that that's all a bunch of bullshit dreamed up my mortal men to ease their own fear of dying.
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The site continues to kick ass and even generates a small amount of money for me, which almost justifies the amount of time that I waste on it. Soon, I'll be able to hire a pro web designer to take over the site for me so that it can be more profitable and generate even more traffic. |
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| 81 Weeks Later |
[Jul. 8th, 2007|03:56 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Bob Mould - It's Too Late | ] |
Well I haven't written anything here in a very long time. 81 weeks, according to livejournal. And as ever before, I find myself reverting back to introspection and self-analysis after my life has once again fallen apart.
Keith left me about 2 months ago because he thinks he's straight and can have a successful straight relationship with a woman. He (or his family) has (have) decided that he'd be better off if he fucked some twat and had her shit out a kid or two for him. I was very sad and broken up to see him go at first because we've been together for so long and were so much in love. But in recent weeks, I've come to realize that the depression that I had sunk into was largely due to him... his cheating... his inability to share or discuss his feelings... the complete and total lack of effort that he put forth towards making the relationship work... his mental laziness and lack of drive to achieve anything more for himself than working menial labor-intensive jobs.. etc
In the end, he got bored with himself and was all too happy to blame me for his own unhappiness. But to be honest, he left me 1 day before I had already planned a big confrontation with him during which I was going to ask him to leave... because I was sick of carrying the burden in the relationship and receiving nothing in return. I knew he was (and had often) cheated on me because it turns out that he's a shallow, insecure little person who always thought that sex equated to self-fulfillment.
But all of that is neither here nor there. He left me before I could end things in a civil manner. In fact, I think now that his goal when he left was to hurt me as much as possible so that I'd forever hate him and that would make it easier for him to let go of what he admits still was the relationship of his life. It also doesn't help that he has an entire familial network of people encouraging him to do what he knows is wrong because they think they know what is best for him, though not a single one of them has ever had a single successful relationship. Note to everyone : never ever take dating advice from anyone who can't maintain a successful relationship.
So Keith left me, but by that time it was pretty much over anyway. I had grown sick and tired of his laziness and his always expecting me to somehow entertain and provide some sort of excitement for him. I was already just biding time until I had the chance to confront him and say that I wanted him to leave if he couldn't take a gay relationship as a valid relationship and stop cheating on me.
Not that I'm some kind of saint. I cheated on him too.
And, knowing how much I loved him and the fact that I STILL cheated, sort of re-enforces my belief that there really is no such thing as true love. My parents cheated on each other repeatedly. Hell, my mother even had lesbian lovers and my dad even admitted in moments of drunken weakness that he had had a few gay sexual liasons.
So Keith and I have been seeing each other and talking to each other and still been having sex whenever we can since we 'broke up'. But after so many years of watching more and more ever-increasingly bizarre porn, his idea of what is 'normal' sexuality has become so fucking twisted that it has become what most rational people would call unnatural. He likes me to piss on him... he likes ass-to-mouth sex (he likes to suck my cock after I assfuck him)... he's so lost that at one time I felt sorry for him. But recently I have begun to enjoy degrading him, which is exactly what he enjoys all the more.
So, Keith moved in with his family and is now working as a day-laborer for a landscaper, same as any illegal mexican who just hopped the border. For me, it would be work that would make me hate myself and my life. But for such a simpleton, he seems happy. Or at least pretends to be. I don't think he is... and something about that makes me very happy.
I've tried to talk to him... to get him to give it another try without all of the lying and cheating and conniving and try to for once expend the kind of effort it takes to have a successful relationship. But he (or his friends and family) have made up his mind that he'd be happier living a straight lifestyle. Sad part is that I don't think he's even bisexual. I think he has conditioned himself to feel as though he's attracted to women after so many years of watching straight anal porn that he has convinced himself that he can actually do it. But all the porn that he finds arrousing is always involving either anal or women being demeaned and degraded, which is more a sign or a hatred and disrespect for women than anything else.
But that's all neither here nor there.
Like I said, I have come to discover that my depression in recent years was largely due to him, so it's far better that we not get involved again. I don't see myself getting married or having children because those just simply aren't mental needs of mine. I don't need anyone to care for me. I have little or no desire to sire children. I'm not so scary-important that my demented seed needs to be passed along to a new generation of children to inherit a dying earth.
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Also, my father recently finally began to succumb to the long-term effects of alcohol abuse. His liver has given out. He is currently in the final stages of chirossis to the point that his liver is no longer able to filter ammonia from his blood and it has affected his brain. He is pretty much a vegetable, unable to move or speak or probably comprehend anything that is happening to his as he lies dying in the hospital.
He won't be around for very much longer. The doctors say it could be as long as 6 months. From seeing him, I'd say that he has no more than a month. But who knows. A merciful God would have taken him by now.
So that's the update. Keith is here right now, sleeping in the bedroom. He says he regrets leaving... that he considers it a horrible mistake. But as Bob Mould would sing "it's too late, it's too late, it's too late to cover what you've done now'. |
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| and another thing... |
[Dec. 17th, 2005|09:23 pm] |
I didn't expect that I'd ever post in here again. I had this brilliant idea about how cool it would be if I just did the journal as an audio blog. Turns out that, thought it's not too terribly difficult to do audio blog entries, this is still easier.
I continue to excell at work. Keith and I are approaching our 6 year anniversary. We're still in love and have a great sex life. The cats are all lovely and wonderful and healthy.
We've been able to train Mouse to pee on a wee-wee pad if she doesn't want to share a litter box with the others. She poo's in the box, but wants to pee somewhere else. We're just happy that the little retard finally stopped pissing on everything.
The site has taken off and is hugely popular. If I were of a business mind, I'm sure I could turn the traffic into at least a bit of ad money. But I'm not. For example, for November 2004 we had : 273,271 hits, 4914 unique visitors, and 12.12GB of data transferred. For November 2005 we had : 4, 047, 368 hits, 30, 092 unique visitors and 236.18GB of data transferred. We're currently ranked #314, 252 compared to every other website in the world, according to www.alexa.com .
I started gathering talent to do live shows on PCU because we were getting such low listener counts at night. Plus, I'd always rather have live prank stuff than the old rotation myself. So we picked up a few shows, including Howard Stern wack-packer Zolar. Ted got pissed at me about Zolar's content and kicked us all off. So, I went out and continued PCU on my own, while Ted has adopted 'P-Unit' as his station name. Ted and I are already friends again, tho. I think we can each understand where the other is coming from and forgive each other about the whole thing.
But PCU continues, with a long line-up of great prank callers (personally chosen by me) doing live prank shows almost every day of the week. It's a prank fan's wet dream. Best of all, the bandwidth that we use to broadcast PCU is donated by Dr. Lego.
I'm still doing a show on Saturday nights at 10PM eastern. Going on 4 years now.
Gotta run. It's almost showtime. |
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| Looking Good |
[Jul. 24th, 2004|04:58 am] |
Hello again. I write again very early in the morning, suffering from my typical intermittent insomnia.
Things are going very well. Keith and I are still in love. He's been very horny lately. :) . We got to meet a 'fan' of the prank call site/internet radio show when we made out annual pilgrimage to Manhatten for the Gay Pride March. We had a great time and Keith took a ton of pictures with his new digital camera. I made a gallery on the prank call site for the pics. I know it would be better if I didn't post 'gay' stuff on the site. But I don't care. The pics are funny.
I've been very busy with my newfound 'career'. I quit the Social Crime network because Pedge turned out to be a complete asshole whom I couldn't work with. But, I became co-owner of PCU Prank Call Underground Radio Network. So I still do the show on PCU like I always did.
I did a LOT of work on the site... completely redesigned it and made it less 'gay'. The site has been kicking ass lately. We're pretty damn close to surpassing the guy who inspired me to start recording my prank calls, Blackout. Right now, we're in the top 700,000 sites on the internet. I've been at it for so long and so many people have been listening to our pranks on various internet radio stations for so long that I am now a prank 'legend'. LOL. There's something to aspire to, huh, kids?
I've been doing the show and trying to keep up with the editing so I can post the old shows on the site. I have literally hundreds of prank calls that I haven't edited for a CD or the site yet. I could retire tomorrow and still release a steady stream of new content for the next several years. We have at least enough material for 5 more CD's. But I've been having a hard time getting around to editing the pranks for our next CD. Perhaps, once again, I am letting my retarded little hobby use up too much of my free time.
The Social Crime people all got all pissy with me when I quit...like I don't have the right to. I was their best show. I was their only 'celebrity' (at least on the internet) LOL. They all took it personally and were attacking me on the air. Pedge was calling in to every show in a drunken stupor to offer his theories as to why I left (when I had already stated on their own bulletin board exactly why I was leaving). Pedge even went on to threaten to get hackers to 'attack' my site. He has encouraged people to flood the chat room. He's really been a bitter little bitch...like a hurt girl. So I said to him the other night 'can't we just agree to ignore each other?' and he says "there's no reason why we can't still be friends". So I guess that's worked out. I'll ignore them and hopefully they'll ignore me.
Mouse has taken to pissing on the bed again. So last night when she pissed, we tossed her in a tub of water. I'm not sure why I said that, but it's true. Keith actually threw her in the tub as punishment. LOL |
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| Happy Easter! |
[Apr. 11th, 2004|09:21 pm] |
It's Easter sunday and all is well. Things have been going better lately. It was a great day today. Keith woke me up this morning by hugging me and kissing me and saying "Happy Easter, Honey". It felt good. He started sucking my dick and we ended up having sex. We were an hour late getting to Keith's family's house for the traditional family dinner :) . I used to feel uncomfortable being around Keith's family because I'm not sure how they feel about me. I imagine that they resent me for 'making' their nephew/son/grandson gay. Of course, they're probably not thinking that. But that's what I feel they think. Know what I mean?
But I've seen the family so many times that I'm more confortable being with them. Keith's father and his wife have decided not to divorce and instead to try and work things out. I feel sort of guilty about what I wrote about her last time because it was mean of me. But I'm not going to edit it.
We ate and everyone joined in on the Easter egg hunt. It's hysterical to watch a 70 year old woman running around the yard trying to find easter eggs.
Things continue to go well for the site. The show is doing well, except for last night. I did a great show last night, but only 30 or so people listened because Ted is away and couldn't set up the simulcast on PCU and because of the holiday. Note to self : Next year, just play an old show on the night before Easter.
Jiggy Jaguar contacted me about simulcasting the show and playing old shows. I thought he had a lot of nerve to ask me for anything after he set up a website to call me a pedophile. But I entertained him. I asked for a link to a site and a stream for the station. Turns out, he didn't have anything. He said he's going to be setting one up, so I told him to get back to me. But I know he was bullshitting. He's probably going to run a shoutcast off his PC to a whopping max of 10 users. What a dick he is.
On a similar note, I went into Ventrilo this evening and as soon as I got there, Pedge pulled me into the office to talk. I wondered what I said that he was going to yell at me for. LOL. Was it when I said the commercial for Late Night Greek Philosophy is about as good as the show? Was it when I said that I don't have to talk about sex in order to get people to listen (and then proceeded to make Keith's Easter basket on the air)? No. He was mad that I try to get others (besides Ted) to simulcast the show. But I don't care how many people listen anyway, so I'm going to stop telling people they can simulcast the show. Some still will, I'm sure. But it's all good. It still gets the word out because people will hear the URL's I give out on the show. So, sorry, Jiggy. I guess you'll never get to ride my ass for listeners on your crap-ass station.
I want to help Social Crime become a player because everyone will benefit from Pedge and me (or course) to Zach and AD and Ted. Hopefully my show can be a network-builder. Hell, NHB built themselves up reasonably well with fewer decent shows than SC has. And of all the shows, I'd have to be modest and say that my show is generally the best. Other TJ's try to do their own prank calls, but they're not KDK. LOL.
KDK'S REVIEW OF THE SOCIAL CRIME LINE-UP
Venison Stew - Haven't heard it yet.
Ventrilo Nation - Extremely cool idea. The problem with this one is that it requires interesting people to be in the Ventrilo room and a Host. ...and perhaps certain people who never have anything interesting to say should be muted.
Masturbating With Mariah - She's hot and she's funny. Her self-deprecating attitude is endearing.
Late Night Greek Philosophy - Proof that Nitrous really DOES kill brain cells. It's like eavesdropping on a bunch of druggies. And not in a good way. In a Blackout kind of way.
Brain Box - Very professional. It sounds great. Drunk Kevin is funny as hell.
Social Crime Syndicate - Haven't heard it yet.
The Porn and Jeb Show - Only heard it once, but it was the single worst radio show I have ever heard in my life. I don't know much about these guys except that they're blind. Which makes it incredible that they can run a show when sighted people like me sometimes have a hard time. But it was bad. Everyone was saying that they suck and shouldn't be allowed to do the show anymore. I suggested that they needed more practice and perhaps should be moved to a night when less people will listen until they get better. After all, if people tuned in and heard that, they might not tune back to Social Crime for a while. |
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| Disintegration |
[Mar. 15th, 2004|03:20 am] |
Everything feels as though it's falling apart lately. First Zach (my good friend and fellow pranker from www.collegesucks.org ) decides to distance himself from prank calls... then Rich and Aaron from www.atlanticdimensions.com almost decide to hang it up and retire because of douchebags constantly trying to cause problems for them. Now, Ted decided to hang it up. Tedwwweb, the best prank call station on the internet, the first station to start playing our calls, is gone. I can't help but feel responsible for it, which makes it that much harder to take. It's because of one of my douchebag listeners. One of my psycho/sociopath listeners spent all last night and today sending pizza's and cabs over to Ted's house. Ted's wife got scared that psycho's off of the internet could so easily get their address and phone number. So now it's all over. Tedwwweb is dead because of the people who claim to love our show. And I find myself wondering why I bother producing so much entertainment for such obviously unappreciative people. I am finding myself thinking about retiring more and more lately. I am getting weary of people disrespecting me because they feel I'm infringing on their ego. I'm getting tired of assholes harassing my friends because they have a problem with me. I know who it is, but I don't know what to do about it. Calling upon the more computer-gifted folks who listen to enact revenge on behalf no longer seems fulfilling.
I feel like I've lost a family member. I was afraid that Ted was mad at me because, after all, it was some douchebag who listens to my show that caused the trouble for him and his wife. Thankfully, he understands that when you have a prank call site, you're bound to attract people who have a strange sense of humor. He doesn't blame me, I don't think. There is more to this story that I can't even go into here, my most intimate of places. For this I apologize. It cannot be helped.
So, for now, KDK marches forward. The show I do on Saturday nights will continue, for now, on The Social Crime Internet Talk Radio Network www.socialcrime.com . It will also be simulcast on The Prank Call Underground. So, people will still be able to listen to the show. We'll be able to handle more listeners than ever. But it feels like an empty victory without Tedwwweb. Luckily, Ted will still be making appearances on Lunatic Fringe.
On to more personal matters, Keith's dad recently announced that his wife (Keith's stepmother) is divorcing him. Like I said, it feels like everything is falling apart. Joyce, Keith's stepmother, and the woman who saved Keith's father from an alcoholic's death, has decided that she simply "doesn't love him any more" and wants a divorce. Sound familiar. It wasn't too long ago that I heard the fatefull phrase "I don't love you, anymore" myself. Of course, Keith and I spent an hour apart and fell apart and realised that we did still love each other more than we realised. Familiarity breeds contempt. Joyce wants the feeling of initially being in love. She wants the magic you feel to be in love with someone new. I know Keith's father pretty well. He's a lot like me, actually. He's very direct and honest and he's still a kid at heart and he likes to joke around and kid alot. After 11 years, apparently Joyce has grown weary of the eternal man/boy. I say that Joyce is a two-faced cunt who has been caught talking shit about me and Keith behind our backs. Keith says she was good for his father because she got him to stop drinking himself to an early grave the way my mother did. And then there's the weird dynamic with Keith's brother, John. John is 15 years old and Joyce still wipes his ass. Stop laughing. I'm not kidding. She really truly does still wipe his ass. John isn't retarded or an invalid at all. He's a normal kid perfectly capable of wiping his own ass. But Joyce has him trained into thinking that's the way things are done. And I thought it was strange that Keith wipes his ass standing up.....
Plus, there was this one time we were over there....John calls Joyce into the bathroom to presumably wipe his ass. They both come back to the dinner table a few minutes later, at which time John says "....but none of that white stuff came out...." before being shushed by Gary and Joyce. What white stuff? What exactly went on in that bathroom? I don't even want to know....
Well, I sure am glad that Keith never reads my journal. Keith's dad is the coolest. I'm a pretty good judge of character. And Keith's dad is one cool-ass guy. He may be all fat and dumpy, but he's a great guy. I know Joyce is a two-faced twat who has even had the audacity to insult me to my face when she thought I wasn't paying attention to her. She's a fat skank and I don't speak that harshly of many people. I wish Keith's dad would sue for custody on the grounds that Joyce is molesting him. Even if she never did anything overtly sexual with him, wiping the ass of a coherent, normal 15 year old boy is molestation. We'll leave the "white stuff" comment out of it. LOL.
Anyway....I feel better that I typed furiously here for a few moments as an abstract representation of my 'feelings'. Until next time..... |
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| Vacation |
[Feb. 25th, 2004|03:07 am] |
I've been on vacation for a few days now. We don't have the money for me to travel anywhere. I don't even know if I'm allowed to travel anywhere alone. :)
I didn't really need a true vacation. I just needed some time away from work. I've been just watching movies and playing videogames, which is what I like doing anyway. I've been smoking a lot of weed, but we ran out today. I'll have to get more tomorrow. I updated the site, posting a video from a praty we had over here a few years ago. Melissa flashes her boobies like 6 times and Keith shows his ass. Keith also ends up naked, but I tried to edit it so that you can never really get a good look at his dick.
Things are going well. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 17th, 2004|04:10 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  high | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Alkaline Trio - This Could Be Love | ] |
Happy Valentine's Day!
I used to be one of those jaded individuals who despises and dismisses it as a "hallmark holiday". Since I've been with Keith for so long, the holiday has gained a greater meaning to me. We went out for dinner. He had to be at work at 11PM. It's a good thing we got the Valentine's Day sex out of the way in the morning. :) .
We are coming up on our third-year anniversary. Wow. It's easy to remember our anniversary because it is also my birthday. I'm going to be 33.
I don't know what we're going to do for our anniversary/my birthday. I'm treating myself to a week's vacation because I've been getting seriously stressed-out and aggravated at work and I need a break. One good thing about where I work is that I get 4 weeks of vacation every year. I won't be going anywhere. I'll probably just mope around the house all week and play video games and do work for the site. It's too fucking cold to do anything outdoors for any extended period of time.
I've been fighting the good fight against depression and I have been winning so far. There have just been a lot of people doing really shitty things to me lately. It's like I'm everybody's whipping boy and I just grin and bear it like an idiot. I think I'm way too nice sometimes.
The website is doing very well. I just started up The Throbbing Limbo again. There's a link to the old one (which still works) in this journal somewhere. But the new one is the one I will be updating regularly. It's at www.kdkprankcalls.com/throbbinglimbo . It's separated from the comedy part of the site... not linked to any of it's pages except a "hosted sites" page. I know that poetry, essays and short stories don't go together well with prank calls and videos of a drunk chick flashing her boobies. Perhaps I'll post some of my sketches and paintings up there. I'm not sure. I think it will make it easier for me to post personal things up there if I can sort of act like it's not my site. Know what I mean?
Keith and I are doing very well. I helped him get a better job at the same place as me and he is a lot happier. He still spends way too much time playing sim games, but at least he can't complain when I do prank-related crap :) . I've been going nuts lately with my Christmas present from Keith, a DVD burner. Let's just say that I really like to rip off Blockbuster. I tend to buy a pass for a month a few times a year and copy tons of movies to watch later when I have the time. |
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| Very Stoned and Checking In |
[Jan. 27th, 2004|03:51 am] |
Again, it's been forever since I've written in my damn journal. I have been very busy. The site is doing great...getting hundreds of hits a day. People are buying stuff and I am making some chump change. I forced myself to learn how to use Dreamweaver a month ago because I wanted to change hosts.
So, I have a new host now and I host other sites myself. I wish I could help someone who is like I was not so long ago...someone who needs a prank call website but lacks the funds and knowledge to do it. Right now, I'm hosting a crappy site run by some gay kid in Oklahoma. Kevin told me I should host him because he's a fan and he's gay. So I help. He hasn't done anything with it, really, yet. I can't help but think how cool it would have been for someone to give me a free website when I was just starting out, but some people never realise what they have until it's gone. I wonder sometimes why I even bother trying to help people. I remember what it was like when I first started talking to Zachary B (webmaster for www.collegesucks.org) and how much he helped me. Now, I find myself in similar situations...kids asking me how to record and edit pranks and shit. I like it.
I try to keep my hobby of prank-calling and the whole website at bay as much as I can recently because I know that Keith resents the time that I spend on what is to him my stupid little endeavor. A few months ago, Keith and I broke up for a short while (a few haours, actually) because he felt like I was neglecting him and spending too much time working on the site and doing shows and editing pranks and listening to pranks for the show and yada yada. The truth is that I really love what I am doing with the prank call thing. I know it'll never make me any money or anything. It's my hobby. I run the coolest prank call website on the entire god-damned internet. And I am proud of it. I get tons of fan mail and shit from people all over the world. I've had the pleasure to meet some of the absolute coolest people I've ever not-met in my life. I think Keith used to resent me trying to involve him in the prank call thing, so I stopped and he has been much happier. Kevin decided that prank calls were too immature for a person his age, let alone a person my age. So, he retired from prank calling. So now I run the whole thing, same as it ever was. I do a live show on the internet called Lunatic Fringe. I have been doing it every night for the past 14 months or so. I used to have to pay to do the show using services like Alternacast and Live365, but now the guy who owns www.Tedwwweb.com donates his server to me for the show and I don't have to pay anything (which is good because another problem Keith had with KDK was the money we spent on it). The show is simulcast on a few other internet radio stations and now I get at least 100 concurrent listeners a week. I know it doesn't sound like much (100 people out of the entire fucking world), but for internet radio, that's an outstanding number. There are "professional" DJ sites that don't get that many people to listen to any live event.
I am incredibly stoned right now. I don't have to work tomorrow, so I'll be trying to get ahold of Zach to help me fix my bulletin board. I tried to make the board so that people could upload their pic from their hard drive (instead of having to host them somewhere else and link to them), and I completely fucked them up. O well. That's too bad because we were getting an awful lot of activity to it recently.
Keith and I have been doing awesome since our first fight. I feel closer to him and understand him better than I ever have. I hope he feels the same about me. It's hard to believe that we've been together for almost 3 years now and have only had one real fight. And it wasn't even a fight. He just told me that he wanted to leave and I told him that I knew why he wanted to leave and promised I'd try harder. And I have been. He was right. I had started taking him for granted. I go into my little manic-depressive swings and I withdraw into myself and end up ignoring everyone, including him. I think he understands a little better what I go through when I start feeling depressed. You know, it's amazing that I was able to find someone who loves me enough to put up with all of my shit. There really must be a God.
Blackout and I got into a big fight. Basically I just got tired of him making fun of me and I banned him from his own chatroom one night. I just got sick of his jealous little ass talking shit about me when I know damn fucking well that he has never listened to enough of my shit to say whether I suck or not. So, he banned me from his site and retired from internet radio. I realise now that I sent him into the same sort of depressive spiral that he sent me into every time he talked shit about me. I think he always felt that he deserved a bigger audience with his internet radio show because he gets a lot of hits to his site. I think he resented the fact that my stupid ass came out of nowhere and started doing a prank call show and got more people to listen than him.
Wow this is good weed.
Lately, the site is complete and gaining every day. I have been working on some new pages with some of my essays and award-winning poetry :) . I know it seems like a strange thing to be on a prank call site (essays and poetry), but my world is strange indeed. |
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| DEPRESSION SUCKS |
[Jul. 11th, 2003|05:19 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Cure - "Pictures Of You" | ] |
I'm back. Once again, it has been quite awhile since I've been here. I never remember what I wrote last and I never go back and re-read what I've written so far. So, much like my state in life, I have no idea where I left off. It's late and I'm not tired, even though I have to be at work in about 2 hours. I was lying in bed and I found myself crying. For no reason at all. I have a nice house. A sweet car. Tons of cool toys. I'm laying in bed next to a beautiful man that I love and who loves me. Yet, I find myself unhappy and depressed. Welcome to manic depression. I've been depressed for a while now. Probably a month or 2. The depression comes in waves. It washes over me and I stop calling friends and family. I don't want to leave the house. My creative energy is gone and I have no motivation. I had thought that the depression was waning and I was looking forward to the inevitable manic upwsing and the joy and creativity that comes along with it (God that sounded queer). But this time it's different. I feel creative, yet I am still unhappy inside. I find myself doing creative projects...making videos for our site, encoding and editing pranks and stuff, making graphics and elements for the site, writing poetry and writing in here. I have the creative energy, but not the elation, if that makes any sense. I know that there are drugs I could take to help even me out...make my moods more level...take the edge off. But that's just the thing. It takes the edge off. Off of the happiness and well as the sadness and what I fear I would be left with is just general grayness and apathy. I don't condone the use of any mood-altering prescription drugs. The only drug I do is the weed.
Someone could say the slightest thing to me and I find myself wanting to cry like a pussy. I think perhaps I just need to cry. I need to allow myself a cry. Know what I mean? Play the most depressing music I can think of and cry. It's a cleansing experience.
I don't remember how much I've written about what's going on in my life. Keith and I are doing great and still madly in love with each other. Our sex life is great. I can really see us spending the rest of our lives with each other and growing old together. The website continues to grow. We have pages for pranks (over 100 pranks by now), pics, poetry, fanart (yes, believe it or not, we have some really talented and creative fans), videos, soundboards. I've gotten much better at working on the site and it looks pretty professional now. We get a respectable amount of hits every day. Nothing stellar, but pleasing. We have our own internet radio station and every Saturday I host a live show. We usually have between 25-35 people listening atany given time during the show. Tedwwweb.com has been simulcasting our show to help get extra listeners. Again, nothing major, but pleasing. I can't take calls from the listeners, which makes it kind of tough. It's not easy to carry a 4-5 hour show with nobody else to talk to except the people in our chat room and the cats. But it is a good experience and it has, no doubt, made me a better host. It's cool to think that there are a few kind souls out there who actually look forward to Saturdays so they can listen to our show. I've been making a ton of pranks because I am kind of obligated to do them during the show, so we are up to 7 full CD's of our own original prank calls. I'm working on editing the calls for our 8th CD and we have at least another 3 CD's of out-takes and calls I thought were amusing enough to keep, but not good enough for a CD.
I am doing fine at work. I hate to work, of course. I think I would hate just about any job. But thsi job isn't that unpleasant as far as jobs go and I do get paid well.
I haven't had any contact with my family. It's not that I'm angry with them. I just have nothing to say. Nobody ever bothers to call me. Nobody ever think "well, Dave might not be feeling too well and maybe we should give him a call to see how he's doing". Like the rest of the world, they are far too important and absorbed in their own little worlds to bother with or worry about mine. I still have my mother's ashes here because nobody else ever bothered to pick them up from the funeral home. If I hadn't gone to get the ashes, they would still be there. Or else they would have been thrown out. We were supposed to have a ceremony to scatter the ashes, but nobody ever called me to set anything up. It's like everyone wants to forget she even existed. I think I'm the only one who seems able to forget all of the shit mom caused for us all. I'm the only one who can say "she did the best she could, but she was human and had problems of her own". I'm going to have to call my father to talk about what he wants to do with the ashes. I hate talking to my father because he is such a negative ass most of the time. The first thing he said to me the last time I called him months ago was "so, did you lose the hosue yet?". Nice, dad. I see my sister every once in awhile when she shows up at work to tell me how horrible I am and how I shoudl call dad more because we're all he has left. I was never close with my father all throughout my childhood. I can't just go back and pretend like we're best buddies. We don't even know each other, really. I don't really like my sister because she has always been a superficial bitch. The problem is that I see my family and all I think of is the times they've hurt me. I can't remember any happy times with my family. I remember the time my mom was drunk and pissed on my bed. I remember the time my sister dropped a 50lb piece of lumber on my head. I remember all of the times my father threatened to throw me out of the house. I remember the times mom passed out and burnt holiday dinners. Even now, the only happy moments I can think of from my childhood with my family was when I would be sitting on the couch and my mother would come up from the basement and throw the laundry on me. I remember the warmth of the clothes and the smell of the fabric softener. The only warmth I can remember.
Perhaps that is the root of all of this depression. Perhaps I need to forgive everyone so that I can move on emotionally. As bad as my parents may have been, I think I turned out to be a pretty kind, creative, funny and intelligent individual. I need to do something because I thought the depression was going away and recently it's just been getting worse. |
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| I'VE BEEN KNOWN TO LIE.... |
[Apr. 3rd, 2003|07:20 pm] |
Well, I guess I lied when I said I would write more tomorrow because here it is...2 months later. O well. I have been down lately. Not entirely unhappy. Just discontented. A general malaise. I just got finished uploading new calls to the site from our 7th CD, "Dick POWER". The site is doing well, but still our best day so far (last saturday) is only 79 hits :(. The site has been up for 7 months now. The weekly show I do on Alternacast, with as little listeners as I get, has been the #1 show for 3 months or more now. I think the best ratings we've had so far is 17 concurrent people for 4 hours. I divide the number of minutes people listened by the number of minutes the show was on. That gives me the average number of people listening at all times. I wish I could get more than 17 people to listen, but Alternacast is like an internet secret. Nobody knows about it. Hardly anybody uses it. It's unreliable.
I hate my job but I get paid fairly well. Why isn't there a government grant for prank calling. Why can't I get an endowment so I can sit home and prank people all the time? Is my work not a form of art?
I am stoned and being goofy.
The cats are doing well. Keith is doing well. |
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| Back From The Dead |
[Feb. 12th, 2003|09:25 pm] |
It's me. I've been on walkabout for almost a year. But now I think i might be back for awhile. Alot has happened since the last night I wrote. Too many things to go into detail about. I'll just give the bullet points.
Keith and I are still together and just as in love with each other as ever. Our sex life is still great. February 19th is both our 2-year anniversary and my 32nd birthday.
We have been plodding away on the whole prank call thing. I don't remember how much of this I wrote about before, so I'll make it brief. We bought a domain name www.kdkprankcalls.com. We have 6 CD's worth of prank calls that are for sale there. We started doing a weekly live internet radio show in September. We started out Monday nights at 8. We slowly gained listeners. We moved to Saturday nights at 10. We get (on average) 15 concurrent listeners for 4 hours. Pathetic as that sounds, that's actually pretty good for Alternacast. I've been building the site up and there's alot of cool shit up there now.
I'll write more tomorrow. |
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| AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! |
[Jun. 20th, 2002|03:06 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | high | ] |
| [ | music |
| | KDK - "Toilet Paper Splinters - part 1 and 2" | ] |
Has it really been so long since I've last updated. I guess I just haven't been in the mood for writing much lately. We've been making more calls and I just put together a fourth CD of KDK prank calls. Earlier tonight, we all got together and picked our favorite calls to make a best-of CD call WE'RE GOING TO HELL. Whatever....like it matters
Keith and I are doing very well. We have been having sex much more than normal lately, which is always good. :)
Here's a funny story....Keith and I are at home around 12 at night playing videogames and using the computer and shit...when we hear the doorbell ring.
At first I thought it was going to be Kevin, but the person at the door was too quite to be him. I couldn't see who it was through the hole in the door. Keith opened the door and we were both stunned to silence to see Bill (my ex-boyfriend -visit www.geocities.com/throbbinglimbo- for pics).
I don't know about Keith, but I saw a very visible look of disappointment crash across Bill's face when he saw Keith. His face was all red and I could tell right away that he was drunk. I think Keith was pissed that he showed up.
I didn't want to let Bill in because he has refused to leave (unless I phsyically threw him out) a few times. So I went outside and sat with him on the front step. Keith went back to playing his PS2 game.
I sat down and lit a cigarette and looked at him. He looked at me and he burst into tears. The emotion that went over me at that point was that sort of pity you might feel when you see a hurting animal. I even said "Awwww...", for lack or better words. I realised that I felt nothing for this person anymore. He was laying himself wide open to me in puffy eyes and running nose and it made me almost want to laugh. I felt sorry for him and I could tell that he had been missing seeing me and he was having alot of problems in his life. He babbled on about how he was going to get an expensive life insurance policy on himself and go kill himself in a car crash so his brother could get the money. He babbled on about how he was going to get a job on a carnival cruise ship and sail the oceans blue. We sat on the step and talked for about 10 minutes about nothing. I asked Keith if we could let him in for a few minutes and let him sober up and get him to see that we don't hate him.
Of course, he came in and babbled on.... He started crying again and I called him a pussy. He must have needed that cuz he stopped crying and started laughing. He wouldn't listen to any of our prank calls. He asked me to give a list of bands he and I used to listen to when we had sex....proclaiming "My point exactly! Give me another one..." after each band I named. Not quite sure what to make of that.
While he was talking he said "I don't want my desire to be a sandwich..." and then he paused. I looked at Keith and we both started laughing, not knowing what the hell he was talking about. Then he continues....."between you and Keith...". Suddenly it dawned on us what he meant and we both went eww. My drunk-ass stalking ex-boyfriend had just said that he wanted to have sex with me and Keith. I asked if he had any weed and he got us stoned. He even left a teenie little nugget for later. He left shortly after (probably cuz he wanted to get back to the booze at his house). The important part is that he showed up at my door all crying like a puffy-eyed bitch and when he left he was happy. Does it count as a good deed in anybody's book if you help a falling-down drunk?
O God I am just wayyy too stoned to be doing this right. Who knows what I might say. Who knows what I've said already? |
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| Hold on.....let me get a shot of bourbon |
[Mar. 28th, 2002|10:06 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Refused - "New Noise" | ] |
I just got finished transferring a bunch of our prank phone calls into the computer. So, with those calls, we had enough to make a third CD. I called it "Let me get a shot of bourbon". One of my favorite calls is on there...the one where we inadvertantly pranked a state trooper and i called him a pissant. I was off today, so I have just been playing games and transferring the calls.
I hate my new job. The only good thing about it is that they hired me for so much. On average I get paid pretty much the same as I did before. But I don't have to work 60-70 hours a week like I used to.
Keith and I are still doing great. We have been having some really hot sex lately. He is at work right now. I better go so that I can clean up and get dinner ready. I have to go pick him up at 11. |
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| kDk CALLS ARE ON-LINE FINALLY |
[Mar. 19th, 2002|08:03 am] |
I almost forgot to give my important news! I have finally figured out how to get some of our prank calls on my web-site. If anyone wants to hear some of our calls GO TO WWW.GEOCITIES.COM/THROBBINGLIMBO/PRANKS
anyone who would like to buy one of our CD's from us can contact me at METALGEATDELTA@AOL.COM.
Please at least go to the site and listen to some of our calls. Let me know what you think of them. |
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| kDk PRANK CALLS ARE NOW ONLINE! |
[Mar. 19th, 2002|07:35 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the White Stripes - "Hotel Yorba" | ] |
Yesterday I had one of those days from the bizarro world. It was Saint Patrick's Day and Wrestlemania day, so I had asked Kevin and his father to come over to watch the big WWF pay-per-view. Tina the psycho had asked if she could come over. I told her she could come, but later told Kevin that I was afraid that she would be loud and obnoxious (and want to monopolise my computer to go to dumb-ass Def-Leppard chats).
When I got home from work on Sunday, I sat down to eat my dinner. Keith was still at work until 11pm. Amy and Christina showed up at the door wanting to hang out. Amy is a girl that Keith knows because she used to baby-sit for his younger brother. She is cool and she is a lesbian. She does however weigh like a good three-fiddy. She is a big big girl. Her girlfriend, Christina, is a 17-year old boy-looking and somewhat less chubby lesbian. I cleaned up the house a little. I made a call and took a run to pick up some weed. I came back and Christina and I got stoned (Amy doesn't smoke).
Kevin's dad brings him over. I always though that Kevin's dad was cool. He was quiet and was making perverted jokes about the 2 fat lesbians all the while. Tina did not attempt to monopolise the computer, but she was being loud and laughing hysterically at unfunny things...that forced laughter she always does. Sometimes I try to be nice too much. Know what I mean.
Keith got home shortly after 11 and he wants to get drunk because he is irish and it's saint paddy's day. He and Kevin start drinking Absolut mixed with V8 Splash. By this time I was high and tipsy myself.
Keith was playing around and he flicked his ashes in Tina's hair. Tina freaks and then just sort of freezes in place for a moment. A smile comes across her face that she is trying to hide. Then the stupid bitch hauls off and kicked Keith (who was laying on the floor) in the face. She runs to the bathroom to pout and I politely suggest that Amy drive Tina home. Keith looked like he wanted to kick her ass for a second, but then he was apologising. She realised that she had over-reacted and was trying to justify it and yelling "what if my hair had caught on fire?".
Amy, Christina, Tina, Kevin and his dad left. Keith was upset that he wasn't in the mood to drink anymore because everyone had gone.
Tina did call to apologise and Keith accepted it, but I don't. The bottom line is that she is just a nutty chemically-imbalanced girl who is annoying to be around anyway. In small doses she was ok. But, like I said, sometimes we are nice because we feel we should be or feel sorry. Hey! You notice how I don't really care who I offend in here anymore! Whoopee!
I know nobody will read this shit, even if they know about it.
Keith went to bed and slept for like 14 hours.
We did have great sex tonight though. We got stoned and horny. Kevin wants to come over tomorrow to get high, but he had already promised Tina that she could come over. He is being nice and doesn't want to blow her off. He wants me to have her over here with him, but I think I'd rather just stay home alone for once and watch a bad b-grade horror movie in surround sound. It's the simplest pleasures in life that are best. |
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| WHY DO I BOTHER WITH THIS SHIT? |
[Feb. 20th, 2002|03:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  apathetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Strokes - "Last Night" | ] |
Hello again to nobody. I am back writing in this useless journal. I know nobody ever reads this shit and I don't care. I know I wouldn't read anyone else's journal either. I have no interest in the lives of strangers, just as they have no interest in mine.
Things in my life continue to get worse and worse. I was fired from my job recently, which is surprisingly not the source of my depression. As anyone who has read this journal or spoken to me about work knows, I had in recent months come to hate my job. Well, not the job really, but my employers. Somewhere along the line I just lost respect for the company I was working for and (more specifically) the people whom I was forced to interact with on a daily basis. I had grown weary of people who do not know what they are doing telling me how I was doing things wrong. I had gotten sick of my superiors calling me to solve problems for them because they didn't know what to do (this means you, mario). Ultimately I was fired because I had shared some insulting words about my superiors. Of course firing me was not in the best interest of the company, but that is none of my concern. With the kind of experience I have, I'm sure that I will be able to find a better job in a healthier work environment. In the meantime I have taken a shitty job in New Milford until I can find a good job. I start later today and I know I'm going to hate it and I don't want to go. But I will.
Keith and I are doing well otherwise. The cats are doing well, but I am starting to hate the little one. He is such an annoying, retarded cat compared to my siamese. He is constantly bothering my siamese cats and knocking things over and breaking things. The other cats don't like him either. They tolerate him as if they understand that he is still just a kitten, but I wish they would get fed up and beat him up when he bothers them.
Yesterday was my birthday and we didn't do anything special. Keith bought me a new mouse for this here computer because the old one was shot. My sister called me to wish me a happy birthday...and ended up arguing with me about how old I am and yelling at me for not calling anyone in the family since christmas. My father didn't call and I'm sure he doesn't even know it was my birthday (or even how old I am). I made myself a birthday cake.
We have been continuing to make prank calls whenever we have friends over for one of our prank call parties. We are working on our third cd of calls. I am trying to figure out how to put some of our calls up on my web site, but I don't know all that much about computers. I'd like to find out how to make it so that people can listen to the calls in streaming realaudio and I'll continue to work on that.
I need to go now and get ready for my first day of work at a new job.
Stay beautiful. |
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| MY FIRST BROKEN BONE |
[Jan. 24th, 2002|02:47 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Placebo - "Special K" | ] |
I remember the last time I was writing in here I was complaining about my wrist hurting after my altercation with an old man. Well, it turns out that my wrist was broken the whole while. I'm not sure when it broke....from when he pushed me or from when I beat him up. I didn't even notice any pain until driving away. But it must have happened when he pushed me. That means that I beat up an old man with a broken wrist. O well....
I finally went to the hospital 2 weeks ago because my wrist was still hurting me after 3 weeks. The doctor took one look at the x-ray and told me it was broken. I had cracked one of those knobby parts off of the end of my radius. The good news was that the wrist was already in the process of healing properly. It didn't need to be re-broken and re-set. I didn't even need a hard cast. The doctor just put on a hard splint. The doctors were amazed that I was walking around for like 3 weeks with a broken wrist. If I had known it was broken, I would have used my disability insurance to get out of work for a few weeks. Nobody at that fucking job realises how amazing I am that I continued to work. How is that for hard work and dedication? They should all bow before me and try to live up to my example.
It is almost a year since Keith and I have been dating....that's seven years in gay years. I guess that we are gay common-law married. Things are still going great for us. We are still madly in love with each other and our sex life is as fantastic as ever. Our anniversary is easy to remember because it is also my birthday. February 19th, the same week as Valentine's Day. I was hoping to get some time off from work for a birthday/anniversary/valentine's day party, but there really isn't anybody who could run the place while I'm gone. Mario and Earl don't know how. They would try to do it and just leave a big mess for me to straighten out when I got back. But there I go talking about work again when I know how much I hate to talk about work.
So far, I have been able to make 2 cd's of our prank calls. IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED IN HEARING ANY OF OUR PRANK CALLS, FEEL FREE TO E-MAIL ME AND I'LL SEND YOU ONE. OR YOU COULD LOG ONTO MUSIC CITY MORPHEUS AND SEARCH FOR "KDK" AUDIO FILES TO DOWNLOAD SOME OF THEM. OR IF YOU WANT A CD, WE'LL ONLY CHARGE YOU FOR THE COST OF SHIPPING (we're not in it for the money). SO E-MAIL ME AND LET ME KNOW.
My new web-site is up and running. I think I was able to make it so that this one loads up much faster than the last one. So far there is a page of pics of Keith and I and our cats, a page of ugly people pics, a page with pics of animals fucking, a page of funny (clean) pics, a page of links, a link to this journal and I am still working on the rest. Eventually, I hope to get some poetry, essays and short stories up there. As if you needed another reason to go, I also included a link to a site that gives you free access to pay porn sites and a link to a free warez site. So go now, allready......................
WWW.GEOCITIES.COM/THROBBINGLIMBO
I have to go now, but I promise to write again real soon.
Stay Beautiful. |
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| kDk |
[Jan. 9th, 2002|08:10 pm] |
This past Friday, I finally went to the emergency room to have x-rays of my wrist done. Turns out that I has been broken since my run-in with the old man. I've been walking around for weeks with a broken wrist and I didn't even realise it. I thought it was just sprained. The doctor just put a splint on it...I didn't need to get a hard cast.
We have been making a lot of prank calls lately. I think we have almost 2 hours of calls we've done. Not all of them are great, but most of them are funny and a few of them are classic. I record them on the answering machine. Then I transfer them to the computer. I wish I knew how to put them up at my web site so everyone could hear them. I made a CD of almost 80 minutes of our calls.
I would write more, but my wrist is starting to bother me.
Stay Beautiful |
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| A LITTLE RESPECT |
[Dec. 17th, 2001|02:16 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Radiohead - "National Anthem" | ] |
Keith and I went to a party for his grandmother's 75th birthday on saturday. Afterwards, we went back to his aunt's house. I feel as though Keith's family does not like me. Maybe they resent me for being their nephew/grandson/brother or whatever's boyfriend. Or maybe they think I don't like them because I am so quiet when I see them. But whenever I am around large groups of people, I feel uncomfortable...almost like a mild form of agoraphobia.
On Friday I went to the company Christmas party in Orange. Part of me resented having to drive so far to go to a party that I didn't want to go to and part of me was looking forward to seeing the people I work with getting all drunk and acting stupid. Well, it wasn't so bad. I talked with a lot of the other managers and my bosses. A few were drunk...Tony from the terminal was drunk and rambling on saying the same thing over and over...Lee got drunk and started talking about how Christine had gotten angry that I hired Keith after they told me not to, saying that she had defended me. Lynn is the company lush and I must have seen her knock back at least 6 or 7 Stoli Doli's. I was drinking slowly and got a mild buzz. I left around 8pm. I got lost and by the time I got back to Danbury, it was 9:30. I had to pick Keith up from work in Danbury at 10. So I just went to a diner in Danbury and ordered some food. When my food came, I picked up the bottle of ketchup and shook it before putting it on my burger. The top came off and ketchup got all over my shirt and some old cunt who was walking by my booth with her husband. The old guy starts yelling and I just ignored him. I got up and went to the next table to pick up another napkin to wipe my shirt off and the old fucker actually pushed me. I fell, bracing the fall with my hand. At this point, the manager was asking us all to leave and these 2 hood-rats were telling me to kick the old man's ass. I ask the old cocksucker if he wanted to step outside so we could settle it like men. So we went outside. He wanted to fight out front, but I walked out back and told him to follow me. The nigger and the spick hood-rat followed us. I let the old scumfucker take the first swing. Then I punched with square between the eyes. He put his hand to his face and I stepped to the left. I waited a second or so for him to pull his hand away, looking at it as if he was looking to see if he was bleeding. Then I punched him again on the side of the face. The hoodrats laughed and taunted the old man when he fell to his knees. He started to get up and I gave him one final downward punch to the side of his face that snapped his head so sharply that I was afraid I might have actually hurt the old pigfucker badly. I ran to my car. I heard the old woman saying that he should have listened to her from their car. I drove away out the back of the lot. It wasn't really until I was calming down that I realised that my wrist was killing me. Thinking back, I must have hurt my wrist when the old man pushed me and I braced the fall with my hand. And I'm sure it didn't help to punch him so hard with the same hand moments later. So now I have excrutiating pain in my wrist. It is much better now...I wouldn't have been able to type last night. But it still hurts when I try to turn a key or shift the car. It's still all swollen. But it did feel good to fight again. I dont advocate beating up old men...but if they start shit with you, teach them a lesson about having some respect for their youngers. |
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metalgear's journal